Today my first born will go to sleep as a 3 year old...and wake up tomorrow a 4 year old. I don't even know how to comprehend that. It seems like just yesterday I found out I was expecting her, planning for her arrival and carrying her home from the hospital. The 5 months it took her to "sleep through the night" seemed like an eternity.
Then suddenly I blinked and my baby was 1. A walking, talking adorable 1 year old with a hilarious sense of humor and a zest for life. She used to want to hold my hand everywhere she went and carried her bunny, whom she called "B" as she toddled along beside me. We used to go for walks and play "What does...." where I would ask her what certain animals said and she would reply with an animal sound (with gusto, of course!) Our days were filled with giggles, smiles, laughter and games. It was a blissful existence and I cherished every second!
Before I knew it I blinked again and she was 2. My independent little girl no longer wanted Mommy to help her do everything...oh no, the phrase I've heard the most out of her mouth has got to be, "I can do it myself!" Her second year brought the start of wonderful adventures like a new house with new friends, preschool, real play dates, and potty training! With her new-found independence came new challenges. I quickly discovered that discipline and boundaries were necessary, and that my role as a parent now included being firm in addition to playful and fun. I missed being "happy, smiley Mommy" and hated being the disciplinarian...
And whoever coined the term "terrible twos" must have done so before their child was ever 3...because clearly the threes are WAY worse than the 2's! Avery found her sass, her bossiness and her inner diva during her 3's. I missed the days of simply giggling and laughing with my baby and suddenly my job seemed more serious and my days included things like "time outs" and asking, "What better choice will you make next time?" As Avery stretched her independent wings I found I had to be right along with her making sure I was instilling the "inner voice" of morality. I didn't want her to just know that actions have consequences. I wanted her to learn to make a conscious choice to do the right thing, and to know WHY it was the right thing. There were nights I cried with frustration wondering what had possessed my sweet baby girl to do or say things and wondering why no one ever warns you that parenting can be so hard. I asked people for advice, read books, and then finally had to decide what worked for us and what we were comfortable with as parents. It took time, more patience than I ever thought I could have, lots of consistency, love and understanding but we finally got our "sweet baby" back. Almost overnight we seemed to have a more mature child who understood boundaries and wanted to do the right thing. We still have days where I want to ram my head into the wall...but they are few and far between and I am happy to report that I have a child who knows right from wrong, is socially aware of other peoples' feelings and a child that I genuinely enjoy being around!
You know how they say "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb?" They should say the same thing about the third year of a child's life. It's amazing how much they grow up in 1 year. I began the past year with a child who'd just given up her binkie, was going to preschool for the very first time, and who was going through some serious training in following directions and listening. Today I am ending the year with a little girl. A beautiful, articulate, smart and personable little girl who can write her own name, dress herself, pour her own drinks and pump on the swings.
I remind myself everyday...even when I'm completely worn out, to take a few moments to enjoy her being this age- to lie with her in the grass and look at the clouds, to make a mess with glitter and paint and not worry about the fact that it's going to have to be cleaned up, to let her help me make dinner even though it's going to take me twice as long and be twice as messy. These are the moments that I will cherish forever...and the moments that go by way too fast. There will always be bills to pay, dishes to wash, and clothes to iron...but she won't always be little, she won't always beg for me to play with her and want me to cuddle in bed with her and share secrets. She won't always want to perform dance routines for me or let me help her catch butterflies in the backyard. These are the moments in life that matter. These are the moments that, once lost, I can never get back. This is truly what it's all about. So with tears in my eyes and a wistful heart I say goodbye to the year that brought so much growth and maturity to my little girl (and to myself as a parent). I look forward to what lies ahead...and embrace the FABULOUS FOURS!
